Kink & BDSM-Affirming Therapy
Therapy for Kinky People in Mesa and across Arizona
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You might wish you had someone to talk to about your kinks or BDSM interests, but are fearful of judgement or being misunderstood. Perhaps you're new to the kink world and don't know where to start, or even just accepting what you like. Maybe you carry shame and wish your kinks would go away. You might even be in a power dynamic, but are struggling to communicate your limits and needs with confidence, or have been harmed by a past dynamic.
- Feeling stressed about having to hide the kinky parts of you and worried someone may find out.
- Relationships feel tense due to confusion around boundaries or difficulty with communication about desires.
- Worrying about if you're "doing your role right" in a dynamic.
- Feeling isolated because people around you don't share your interests or understand them.
- Struggling to establish a new dynamic due to harm caused by a previous one, or harm from other aspects of your life.
- Feeling unsure how to bring up your interests to your partner or partners.
Do you have fantasies you keep hidden deep inside? Maybe you're wondering if your power exchange dynamic is normal or healthy.
Whatever it is that you’re experiencing, you're beginning to notice the impact in every facet of your life:
Kink and BDSM-affirming therapy can help.
My approach to kink and BDSM-affirming therapy is rooted in acceptance, openness, and free of judgement. I welcome the part of you that may feel like there's something wrong with you, and the part of you thrilled by the idea of being flogged or degraded. Your Dominant or submissive parts will be celebrated and encouraged.
Whether you've practiced BDSM for years, or are someone new and curious, I believe everyone should be able to explore and express their sexual identity free from stigma and shame.
- Accept your sexual interests and release shame or guilt
- Learn how to safely explore the BDSM world and identify red/green flags
- Strengthen your role in power exchange dynamics and build confidence
- Heal from trauma resulting from non-consensual experiences and separate abuse from consensual BDSM
Kink-affirming therapy can help you:
Learn more about my approach
How it works
Kink and BDSM-affirming therapy gives you access to someone who understands the intricacies of power exchange, risk aware consensual kink, and alternative sexual relationships like ethical non-monogamy.
Kink-affirming therapy can provide support in areas such as:
Kink and BDSM encompass a vast array of interests, behaviors, and relationship styles unique to each person. These are often misunderstood and unfairly pathologized due to myths, media, and lack of education.
Self-exploration
- Many people feel alone or embarrassed when trying to explore and understand their sexual identity and don't know where to go to find support. Kink-affirming therapy welcomes people who want to explore their sexuality and gain clarity in identifying their needs, preferences, and values from a sex-positive lens. Clients are able to explore their sexual identity without judgement or expectations for how they "should be," allowing them to feel connected to their authentic selves in an empowered way that builds resiliency throughout their lives.
Education
- Entering the kink and BDSM world can be incredibly exciting and overwhelming. Clients can learn about exploring the BDSM world rooted in Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) and Trauma Aware Consensual Kink (TICK). This approach helps individuals new to BDSM identify their limits, needs, and values, while also teaching the importance of communication, self-advocacy, and effective vetting. Clients will be supported in making safe, informed decisions about engaging with others and how they want to play with consideration of how past experiences may impact them.
Relationship issues
- BDSM adds many unique facets to relationships such as role-playing, power exchange, and specific needs for negotiation that can create challenges in relationships. This requires specialized attention, understanding, and support from a therapist who gets it. Clients can receive help navigating these areas and learning skills to increase satisfaction, safety, and deepen their relationships from a therapist who understands the fundamental differences between vanilla relationships and power exchange relationships.
Vanilla/Kink clashes
- At times there may be a conflict between partners where one is more kinky and the other is "vanilla," or people are struggling to balance their kink life with their vanilla life. It can be difficult to reconcile these differences and understand how to piece them together. Clients will be supported in exploring what their needs and preferences are, and how to collaboratively navigate these with their partner, along with interweaving their kinky self with vanilla life in a way that feels fulfilling and genuine.
Shame
- Shame is an all too common experience among kinky people, often connected to stigma and internalized negative attitudes toward sex. Some people don't feel safe exploring their sexuality in private, let alone sharing with others. Kink-affirming therapy helps clients identify where their shame comes from, release it, and move toward self-acceptance. This process aids clients in building their self-esteem and more fully embracing their identity.
Abuse and trauma
- Consensual BDSM is built on a foundation of trust, enthusiastic consent, and clear communication. Differentiating between consensual BDSM and abuse or other forms of trauma is a key aspect of kink-affirming therapy. Clients may seek therapy following a traumatic event or relationship. This may be after being led to believe they were participating in consensual BDSM, leaving them feeling unsafe or confused, and impacting their overall well-being and relationships. Kink-affirming therapy helps clients process and heal from traumatic experiences, while supporting them in rebuilding confidence, trust, and safety within themselves.